I’ve always wanted to write a book. I've always thought, someday. But I always pushed "someday" off. Finally, last December, I made myself start writing the book. I made a goal to write every single day. I could write one page or an entire chapter. It could be the worst thing I’ve ever written or the best. Regardless, I needed to write even if it felt like I was forcing myself to.
I mentally block myself from writing even though I love it (way more than running). I worry about failing or not writing well enough. My sentences are never as bad as I thought they’d be. I fear I'm not writing fast enough and I'm wasting time. But no matter how slowly, I keep writing and adding to my page count.
In a year of writing as consistently in notebooks, on Google Docs, on the train, and during lunch breaks, I managed to write over 95,000 words and about 380 pages. Sometimes I stare at that number amazed that my brain managed to come up with that many combinations of words. Other times, I’m disappointed that I didn’t write more. I should’ve, I think; I had days were I scrolled on my phone and wasted time. There were days I stared at the wall with a blank page in front of me that never got filled.
Then I remind myself that a year ago, I had zero words and not a single page. Writing a book was never going to be easy and it was always going to take time. As people say, writing is a marathon. However, during this past year, I’ve realized it’s really more of a triathlon. A year in, and I have yet to finish the first draft. After I finish it, whenever that may be, I’ll still have to edit it all, probably revise and rewrite a lot of it, and only then submit it to agents and hope someone wants to publish it.
This past year has taught me that writing a book may take many more years. And there’s still no guarantee it will succeed in the end. But it’s also taught me that I’m meant to be a writer, that I truly love it, and I can do it as long as I push myself each day. One small step every day will eventually lead to another 95,000 words and eventually, if I keep it up, a completed book.
تعليقات